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chapter one hundred and fourteen: the fight to flight
i wish i could fly..like superman without the cape and extended arm.. more like nathan petrelli in heroes.. or neo in the matrix.. maybe like angel in the x-men.. but, especially like eminem in his video not afraid.. ive had this childhood dream of flying.. now i want it more than ever.. its more than to just get sumwhere.. no.. its not like that.. i want to feel the wind in my lungs.. beating against my face.. whipping through my hair.. the ecstasy.. perhaps.. it is just one way i feel that i can get away from it all.. everything.. everyone.. just to get away.. even if its just for awhile.. just to fly.. there is just one thing though.. im almost certain that if i do fly.. while shooting for the moon.. id be too caught up looking at the stars, that id come crashing down.. wouldnt it be nice.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and thirteen: life is good.. i'd like to think
live while im alive..nothing wrong by that now is there?? so hop on the fun-vee.. ouhh?? you dont want to?? oh well.. i guess the world would still spin on its axis with out you.. life is only but awhile.. and while i must stress that it is only right to do good deeds.. it is also just to have fun while doing it.. if you cant have fun by yourself.. cant adapt to the people around you.. then perhaps, you are just no fun.. step out of your comfort zone this time round.. maybe then you'd not be soo far up your ass.. maybe then id consider being around you.. im not diss-ing anyone.. you deserve to be where you are.. say your piece.. and have your glory as much as the next person.. heck.. as much as i if you will.. but i just dont like this vibe.. your vibe.. i dont like it.. id not want to ruin my dae by letting you get to me.. so back off.. accept your fate.. or be destroyed by it.. that, friend, is your call.. life is only but awhile.. take everything.. but give nothing back.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and twelve: did i get you wrong??
dont you just hate it when people suck at grammar??well i suck at spelling.. let me admit that.. but sucking at grammar and not realizing it.. jesus.. that just takes the cake.. ouhouh.. i just thought of sumthing worse.. sucking at grammar, not realizing it.. AND!! talking about things as if you're soo dang smart.. phew!! you got to hand it to them though.. A for confidence.. F for actually getting your message across.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and eleven: the upside
im not here to help you celebrate..im here.. to help you live..  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and ten: epic proportions
fuck all this shit..i dont give a damn anymore.. fuck off fuck you Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and nine: flowers for the dead
hey..its been two years.. nothing's changed.. i still miss you.. i love you. happy belated birthdae...  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and eight: just.. perfect
Smooth-Talker-Mother-Fucker: baby.. i hope tonight was one of the best nights of your life Hopeless-Lovesick-Girl-Whom-He-Cant-Remember-What-Her-Name-Was: ooh baby!! yes it was.. thank you!! Smooth-Talker-Mother-Fucker: *disgusting smirk* baby.. (dramatic pause) i just wanted tonight to be perfect for you.. for us.. Hopeless-Lovesick-Girl-Whom-He-Cant-Remember-What-Her-Name-Was: *squeals* (eyes welled up with tears of joy) ooh!! it was baby.. it was!! you were perfect.. AND CUT!! jesus!! all this bullshit and drama.. like.. what the fuck right?? yet we see it all the time dont we?? girls falling for the same guy that goes around ditching ever other girl before.. but hey.. are the girls to be blamed here?? i mean.. its not like they intentionally fall for jerks like us ehh fellas?? *snicker* but seriously now.. i think its THOSE jerks who are the ones we should really be thinking about here.. its as though they have honed their skills yo.. seriously.. they are damned skilled at picking up girls.. who actually worth nothing at all.. jesus!! come on.. who are you trying to kid.. a girl worth having is one worth keeping.. if your just gonna bump and ditch her.. i rekon, many others can say.. been there.. done that.. but i do beg your pardon miss.. i dont mean no disrespect to women.. all women.. i mean.. yo.. if you aint a cheap whore, you aint gotta feel offended now.. cause this here aint talking about you.. im here to reach out to those.. how shall i say.. players?? is that the right word?? yes.. players.. seriously.. you dont have to brag about how many girls you've tapped thus far.. it wont do you much good anyhow.. what kind of straight edge worthy girl would want a guy like you?? ouhouh.. ps.. good luck when your dick drops off.. god noes what you could have picked up from all your.. uhh.. "prize"?? nownow.. will you look at that.. i have again strayed from what i wanted to say.. pardon my tardiness.. here's the thing.. why is it.. that in our world todae.. we aim for nothing short of perfection?? do we really noe what that word means?? to attain perfection?? oh god.. that word alone feels too full in my mouth.. look.. im not the kind of guy that will settle with enough.. honestly im not.. i would milk the cow for all its worth.. but thats just it.. is it worth it?? and as far as i noe.. nothing in this world.. this physical world.. deserves a need for perfection.. or for us to be perfect in, for that matter.. perfect.. what does the word mean?? like reallyREALLY mean.. i'll tell you what it means.. one word.. BORING think about it yo.. if life is perfect.. there would be nothing for us to actually do.. no dos.. no wants.. no needs.. NOTHING what kinda life would that be?? while its sweet.. that you would want something to be perfect for someone else.. someone special.. yo.. what's sweet is that you tried soo damn hard brother.. here's a shout out to those who think.. they are already perfect.. go bust your head on a wall..  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and seven: colour me up
i have decided..when i do my hair next, im gonna colour it PURPLE.. not the whole head, mind you.. just a portion of it.. like her..   footnote: i would have uploaded a better picture.. but those are the ones where her boobs are in plain sight.. cant have any of those out here can we now?? im valguar but not perverted.. 'sides. there might be kids watching.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and six: the fires within
why do we think soo much about the people we hate?? all we want is to talk about them.. and when we are not.. all we want to hear is someone else talking about these assholes just soo that we can talk about them too..  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and five: they weren't in our way
a fight that leaves you with only pity only brings pain..  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and four: questions without answers
there are times in life when you go by thinking nothing bad will ever happenthen there are the times when you noe, without a shadow of doubt.. that things are doomed to fail sumtimes.. i feel life is like this... its just so damn sad that it has to inevitably end but.. how do you want it to end?? i noe that not all fairytales end with a happily ever after.. and that in love and life alike, is not alwaes rainbows and butterflies.. is the cost of happiness too high a price for me to afford?? why do we chase that which is elusive and imaginative?? why all the gimmic?? on the real yo.. nothing lasts forever.. not even death.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and three: summer holidaes
dear summer, this comes abit late.. im sorry for not posting on time.. but hey.. better late than never right?? happy 16th!! may the year finally be good to you from here on out.. illy  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and two: mic check one-two one-two
i am only a fighterin the form of a writer in the form of a poet potency in the mic.. lord i'm so focused more focused than I ever been so slightly passed em, like the letter "n"..  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred and one: outsider
ther is nothing wrong in being a crow rather than being a caged bird that has forgotten how to fly im fine being a crow an outcast  Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter one hundred: return of the emo kid
things i do when im depressed1. cut myself though i dont do it anymore.. id sae this was the best outlet i had.. flowing blood.. my blood.. gave me a grip on spinning the world.. my world.. 2. take long walks i still love taking walks.. id walk all the wae around.. id walk from home to the beach if i could.. i like walking at nite.. cause there are stars in the sky.. i love stars.. 3. bake ahh.. my favourite.. though i cant stand eating even a single slice.. baking it is a whole different story.. baking requires attention.. it helps to be distracted from life once a while.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter ninety nine: word game
hi..words i use everydae (well almost everydae) A - anuh (as in, mane nak anuh) B - buto!! (as in, when i wanna call you) C - cheebye!! (as in, when i call and you don't listen) D - don't (as in, really yo.. DON'T) E - eee (as in, eee palapuki!!) F - fuck!! (as in, let's face it, this is the best word ever made) G - get (as in, get out of my face!! you flying fucked up fuck) H - hell (as in, hell if i knew yo!!) I - i (as in, illy) J - jyeah!! (as in, jyeah!!) K - kimak!! (as in, when you piss me off) L - love (as in, you) M - mak (as in, mak kau peh longkang!!) N - no!! (as in, when i make you say please) O - ouh (as in, when i pretend that i understand) P - pfft!! (as in, when you fail to amuse me) Q - queen (as in, of my heart) R - right-on!! (as in, when you catch my drift) S - sucker!! (as in, the first thing i think of when i look at you) T - true (as in, when i agree) U - urm (as in, when i dont really noe what to sae) V - very (as in, very) W - wow!! (as in, whoa!! i didnt see that coming) X - (who the hell uses x words?? seriously..) Y - yo!! (as in, when i wanna sae hi) Z - zoom (as in, it was that fast yo) Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter ninety eight: till death do us part??
if my life were wateryou could see me quickly running dry if my life were sand you could see me blown all over if my life were time you could see my hours stretched into seconds if my life were to be without you damn girl that wont be much left of me to see maybe i have grown dependent on you.. maybe i take you for granted.. maybe i am bad for you.. but i dont care.. i love you and i want to make you all mine.. no one should be able to ever take you away from me i wont let them anyhow.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter ninety seven: whats true is true
hi..im not the best there is im far from perfect and i am great when i am good but can you take me when im not?? im sorry i made a bad week worse.. im insensitive i know.. and i am sorry.. but sorry wont cut it all the time will it?? i dunno, maybe im just not good enough.. Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter ninety six: i love nuggets
 i love nuggets.. period Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies chapter ninety five: the truth about boys and girls
Girls don't like boys,Girls like cars and money.. Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny.. its a matter of through analysis and personal opinion.. its that simple.. really.. this has been playing around in my head for quite sometime actually.. maybe this is the right time to put my thoughts into words.. like what i have to sae?? do read and deliberate, dont argue.. cause i dont really need your opinion.. this is the wae i see things.. for now at least... hate me?? just read anywae, now that you are already here.. even if it gives you one more reason to hate me.. i dont really care.. either wae.. id still be heard and i would have wasted a part of your dae!! ready?? EXTRACT: because chances are, she needs another broken heart like you need a hole in your head. TRANSLATION: boys are assholes, girls are vengeful footnote: frin, i dont mean to diss you.. i just felt like it proves my point.. somewhat.. i mean you no disrespect.. i'll be nice and start this right.. im a guy.. yet i dont think we are the ultimately superior to girls in everything.. yes we are granted brute and leadership roles, but when time calls for it.. this "advantage" of ours will be rendered useless when the task at hand requires sensitive finesse and deligent unwaiveing patience.. girls.. traditionally gentle and demure.. easy to please yet quick to offend.. but on the flipside they have a huge forgiving heart.. often mistaken as a sign of weakness.. they are tested and exploited time and again.. but be warned.. hell hath no fury like the scorn of a woman.. case in point are guys assholes?? sadly.. yes.. all guys ARE assholes in one wae or another, every guy is an asshole in his own right.. are all guys really the same?? again.. yes.. if you are that big of an idiot to keep falling for the same kind of guy.. boys arent all generically the same.. i mean.. yes we all have two heads and more often than not.. we prefer to let the smaller one do all the thinking.. (yes go on ahead, sae im disgusting but whats true is true) but apart from that one thing.. we are not all alike.. (i sure like to think not) boys, more of like.. falls into categories... there is the bonified jackass and the mister nice guy.. (keep in mind that we are assholes nontheless) the jackass.. well.. believe it or not girls in general actually find it easier to fall for these guys.. the slicker-than-grease-born-handsome-smooth-talker-motherfuckers.. why?? because these guys know how to swoon a girl off her feet where she stands.. they know that they can make girls melt.. so they capitalize and take full advantage... right on!! can you blame them?? any one with a brain will take what hes got and cash it in.. nobody wants to play poker and not get a dime out of it.. right?? but ladies and gentlemen.. what brings tears to the eyes, is that these seemingly helpless girls.. are the ones who got themselves into their perils.. they know that these guys are not worth the sweet words leaking from their honey lips.. they bloody hell know it for a fact.. that these guys will just end up hurting them.. yet they dive head first after them.. why, you might ask?? because to a girl.. if im with him.. id be the talk of town and all my girlfriends will be soo jealous.. or.. look!! i got him.. he belongs to me.. that proves im better than you can ever dream.. right now another song comes to mind.. Tell me what's the reason that you hold on When you know that dude Has a whole wall of them just like you.. is any singular party to shoulder all the blame?? but what about mr right?? girls question the world.. why are the good ones either taken, gay or broke?? in truth.. everyone likes a bad boy.. who wants to end up with mommy's boy?? any takers?? are girls are vengeful?? this is a given.. i wont sugar coat my answer.. its a flat out.. yes.. period girls forgive.. but they never forget.. be it months even years later.. they will remember how you have scratched and ripped their open heart.. but how can they not?? after years of experience.. meeting jerk after jerk after jerk... girls never fight fair.. girls can gossip all day long.. and turn a "i think" into hard facts.. and no.. im not exagerating... girls can be nice and pretend to love each other.. when in fact they hate the very idea that they even share the same air.. but when a common enemy comes.. they will present a united front to crush the outsider.. but still hate each other inside.. when treated well.. she will be the wind in our sail when scorned.. she will be the storm that swallows you whole and spit you back out without so much as a paddle.. be warned boys.. FOOD FOR THOUGHT: a man will alwaes be the head of a house.. but the women is the neck and can turn the head to the wae she wants it to.. but without a head itself, what good is a stubby neck?? Labels: for use of better word, pornstar dailies |