Cookies and Nuggets

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archives

chapter fifty four: because...

i'll keep this short..

im happy!!

wheeee!!

you would understand why..
*grin*

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chapter fifty three: tears on a joy-ous dae

29th april 1989
a dae that would bring me much joy..
a dae when i thanked god for bringing into my life..

a dae i feel could last forever..

or at least i wished it would..

but all good things come to an end..
right??

sad..
but true..

todae i sit and remember the good times we had..
the fun we made..
the troubles we went through..
the sticks we shared..

just everything..
just to remember..

todae..
you would be twenty..

the big TWO-ZERO..

i love you..
rest in peace..
may god be with your soul..
much love..
happy birthdae..

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chapter fifty two: just a thought

QUESTION:

why are people soo self obsessed??

i mean like..
really really REALLLLLLLLYYY sooooo fucking self obsessed..
the only thing we want to talk about is ourselves..

and how our puny problems seem to overshadow the entire world..
PATHETIC

the only time we talk to other people is when they want to talk about us...
tsk tsk..
arent we a sad sad group..

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chapter fifty one: goal setting

this is how life goes..
nothing comes smooth..
but it sure is rich..
hold your ground..
and you may just be a better man..

maybe..

im not making much sense right now..
not to you people anywae..

god my head is soo messed up
i hate that i think too much sumtimes..
and the only wae to stop..
is to constantly be doing sumthing important and urgent..
and as of now..
it has to be going for classes..
and it is wearing me out..
i have never been soo glad to be going to school..

this is the first time that i actually look forward to going..
i still hate the waking up early part though..
that sucks..
alwaes has.. alwaes will..
but it is all worthwhile..
as i tear through hour after hour of lessons..
especially FRENCH class..
whoo!!
i think i will ace in that..

urm..
hey chubbs...
i have soo much i wanna tell you..
i wish i could..
but..
well..
hey!!
i have sumthing for you..
i finished it..
like finally..
i hope you will like it..
i really do..
take care ok??
i miss you..

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chapter fifty: what do i do WHAT DO I DO?!

have you ever wondered..
simply sat/stood/laid/squatted/whatever..
and just wondered??

i bet you are doing it right now..
arent you??
how far have you ever reached??
in your thoughts i mean..

honestly...
i usually end up at the same topic..
no matter where i start from..
i end up with the same questions..

how do happy people become soo..
well happy..
nowNOW..
dont get me wrong..

I AM A HAPPY KID!!
(no dispute, pleaseeeee...)

but how do these..
people..
get to maintain that ever fleeting sense of happiness..
i want that soo-so bad...

a life of happiness..
to live for the moment..
no past fading..
no future impending..
here and now..

jeez..
now that would be a life worth living..

but...
that just contradicts dont it??
how can i be happy..
if i have not a care for the future..
my future..

argh..
IM just A CONFUSED HAPPY KID!!

learn contentment baby..
be satisfied with todae..
but look forward to for the achivements of tomorrow..
and beyond..
dream big dreams..
dont fall to the wayside..
keep your eyes on the prize..

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chapter forty nine: hairey-Allah

time ticks by wthout a care for anything
or anyone..
water flows and engulfs everything crossing its path..
why cant i just be like that??
to not have a care for the outcome..
to just run my course..
my own path..
the one i have set my mind on..

and you are right..
i am as stubborn as a mule..
i have to do everything my wae..
but hey..
i survived twenty years living my life my very own wae..
because i am not afraid to fall..
because i know i can alwaes pick myself up..
or at least i alwaes try to..

how can this be soo wrong..
when everything about it feels very right..
how??
if this pain and hurt comes with loving you..
i would willingly put myself through hell..
for you, a thousand times over..

call me crazy..
maybe i am..
maybe..

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chapter forty eight: to chubbs

how do i sae this..
i want you to noe..
but i dont know how to sae it..

i suck..
i know..
i am mean..
dont know how to show my true feelings..
i am an egoist..
alwaes expecting you to make a move..
when i know fully well that i should be the one to..

and the worst part is..
i know you dont love me like i love you..
but i cant help it..
i love you with all my heart..
chubbs, you are the only one i have ever given my whole heart to..
and i intend to keep it that wae..
i cannot think of anyone other than you..
i dont want to anywae..

i dont know if what i do is right or wrong..
all i know is..
that i do everything thinking what is best for you..

chubbs, i love you..
i hope one dae you could sae that to me too..
i will wait, even if it takes forever..

p.s. i know you hate me calling you chubbs.. but i have to..

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chapter forty seven: aja-aja-FIGHTING

its too bad rite??
i noe it is..
everything comes to an end some time..
and more often than not..
things end sooner rather than later..
baby sis..
you are right..
they just aint worth it..

im picking myself up now..
thank you..
i love you..

sumone once told me..
no matter how hard you try..
people will alwaes hate you..

so to those who hate me right now..
screw you..
screw me..
i dont care enough right now to make the possitive change..
im just going to let things run its course..

lets see what comes out the other end of the tunnel..
aja-aja-fighting..

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poetry in motion: love-fairy tale

happily ever after
a still-frame of endless laughter
the perfect begining to our chapter

the greatest story ever told
will be one of us, yet to unfold
one filled with lies, yet promises irrevocable tales of true
one that begins with three words
one that begins with,
i love you

true love will find us through
a toast to the day when i will have you
when heaven is brought down to earth
cherish my heart, for it is filled with your love

and should our story be cut short
be it by my expiration or by other sort
baby believe me when i say this today
because i am in love with you,
falling in love, everyday

Labels: cut throat suicide

chapter forty seven: friends anyone??

ok..
so it has been awhile..
getting internet access has proved to be a real task rite now...
not that it matters anywae..

how have you been baby v??
missed me??
im soo sorry for not updating you for soo long..
it aint that i love sally more..
jusyt that she is more private than you are..
you noe??

ok so life has been shit..
wait..
scratch that..
life is good..
close as shit to being awesome..
my social skills is what has been shit lately..
and for that..
i am sorry..
to those affected..
i am sorry..
to those who dont really give a shit..
fuck you..

baby i love you..
but..
like..
how do i tell you??

p.s. id never lie to you

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